Jump!★

You arrived in the early early early morning of Saturday when I was still in Singapore. Before that I even joked about you coming out when I'm gone. In my head, I was already imagining that I will be with your Aunty Joey (who is working in Singapore) when you are on the way. True enough, I was with her when we got news that your Mom went into the hospital to prepare for your birth. I don't know how many times I prayed for you and Mom to be safe and surrounded by loved ones, and for everyone to stay strong. It has been a rocky few months and I can only hope that you, Baby, will grow up in a loving and accepting environment.

When I first met you, I knew right away that we will love and protect you. I love your littlest pair of eyes, puckered lips and the peace on your face that occasionally scrunches up when you twist and turn in your sleep. When you whined, I would pat your chest and sshhh sshhh sshhh until you calm down. You are so tiny that I'm afraid to lift you. Heck, I never lifted a baby before, I usually wait for adults to put them in my arms. Wait, I'm an ~adult~ now.

But since you couldn't stop crying yesterday while your parents were eating, I had to carry you (as I was on babysitting duties hahaha). Almost immediately you stopped crying when you were cuddled up in my arms. All sorts of thoughts ran through my brain like did I break your bones, is your neck comfortable, are you breathing comfortably, are you hot why are your cheeks turning red, do you like it here, are you hungry, anything else Sir???

Your Mom then told me you missed your feeding time and that I have to wake you up to feed you milk but you were sleeping so serenely, how dare I commit such crime? Your mouth wasn't opening when I touched the bottle tip to your lips and you looked so comfortable dozing off, I almost felt bad to wake you up if not for the fact that you have to bath in a while so you need to drink it now. When you finally sucked on the bottle with eyes still closed, you drank in a hurry. You were really hungry! I could notice that you're slowly but surely gaining strength as the day before you couldn't even drink fast enough with your small sips.

For this two weeks before I start my full time job, I decided to stay with Popo to help her with anything since we live just a house away. I'm glad even if I can help with small things like looking after the baby while Pei San is eating or bathing, or helping Popo peel potatoes, buy groceries and carry buckets of herbal water to Pei San's house. Besides, I got to play with Teddy!


I'm trying to psycho her into following me everywhere by playing with her a lot. XD Teddy loves belly and head rubs. She doesn't bark unless someone is at the front door and is generally docile which is great by me since I'm afraid of active dogs.

The last time I was in Singapore was 5 years ago when I followed a bus from MMU to AFASG. It was my first time going to Singapore without my Mom, just sis and I, and because we had limited time we didn't went to much places. On this time's trip, it was only my boyfriend and I - his first time in Singapore! For the first time I really got to explore Singapore as I planned the itinerary and listed down what to eat..

In this 5 years that I was in university, I went out quite a bit compared to when I was younger and thus managed to experience more of Malaysia in terms of food, transportation, spending, activities and more. It was enough for me to notice some significant differences in Singapore, some of which I cannot get used to hahaha. You will see why later on.

Crossing 
This I cannot forget; cars actually stop for pedestrians to cross the street at small roads. I know it shouldn't come as a surprise to me, being someone who used to frequently visit Singapore when I was younger, but I'm surprised because of the fact that I'm always paranoid when I cross the streets in Malaysia. I double, triple check before I cross, as news of unsuspecting pedestrians getting hit by motorcycles flashes through my brain. There is little order in how one can cross the streets here and we don't often have accessible options. The next day after I came back to Malaysia, I experienced a little reversed culture shock when a car zoomed past me at the zebra crossing while I was trying to cross. Brings me right back home.

Street animals
This blows my mind. I didn't notice any street dogs or cats while I was there! Whatever they are doing to curb the numbers of strays are working. I have a soft spot for strays and in a way I'm glad I haven't noticed them because it means they have lesser chances of being ran over by vehicles.

Buildings
Singapore have lesser high rise buildings and when I asked my Mom, she said it's because it's an island country, so it cannot support too much heavy buildings. I'm not sure how true that is but it makes sense if it is. On average, I think they have 15 floors while in Malaysia you can live in heaven already.

Signs
Their public signs are more multi-language friendly than Malaysia's hahaha. Often there would be English, Malay, Tamil and Chinese, while in Malaysia it's mostly just English and Malay. Speaking of languages, their Mandarin is so deep man... Being a 'banana', I sometimes struggle in Malaysia but I really struggled in Singapore. We went to Haidilao and I only understood our waitress 20%. Wayyy to feel incompetent.

Hygiene
OK, this is too obvious to point out but I'm gonna go ahead and mention that their streets are sooo clean. I would even say that it compares to Japan. This will be how I describe Singapore; Japan environment + Malaysia people = Singapore. OMG don't even get me started on their public toilets. Every time I went to one, there will always be sensor flush and sink! And toilet paper in the cubicles!! And soap at the sink!!! Sometimes aircond!!!!


Actually if you're earning SG dollars, the cost of living is cheaper than in Malaysia. The public transport is cheaper, food and drinks are cheaper, room rental about the same. Maybe there are other services that are more expensive, but from what I can conclude from this few days trip, most everyday things are cheaper. In Malaysia, I feel that they often hike up the price, especially in the city and on hipster drinks. So I seldom spend much on food and drinks here. T^T Just on special occasions or when I have been cooking at home for days.


The bus!! It's so fast and furious!! I concluded that Singaporeans have great balance. I almost felt into a baby when I was standing. =( Luckily the dad was protecting him/her. I apologized and from then on, I sat down whenever there was a chance. Even when I sat down, I'd still hold onto the railings. XD Just from our place alone, there are 4 bus stops within walking distance (about 10 minutes). I can see the next bus stop. It's amazing how accessible and punctual they are.

I noticed that not only are there few motorcycles on the streets, but however much small vehicles they are, scooters make up about half of them. It was interesting and sparked a hope in me because I've thought about taking a motorcycle license just so I can ride a scooter, and Singapore seems like a safe place to ride! There was another type of scooter that I saw a lot, those that you stand on. Not sure if it's popular because of the scooter-sharing system or they genuinely have been using it all this time.


Joggers everywhere.

I mean, in Malaysia we have joggers too but usually in parks or certain cities like Putrajaya, but here they are everywhere. I'm impressed by their tenacity hahaha. Also I saw something that I liked; kids walking. It sounds so stupid when I say it but I loved that the kids are actually walking to places, taking public transport, and just generally spending time with their parents/guardian. I loved that it was safe to bring them anywhere, for them to bike and run around. Maybe because of that, I saw less children with faces attached to screens. During my time there, I only saw one kid watching videos on a phone. In food courts, people leave their kids alone at the table and some kids also order food by themselves.


I saw more Indians there than I did in Malaysia LOL. There were certainly a lot of Chinese and Westerners, so much more than here. There isn't one day where I didn't see some Westerners. But I was genuinely interested in the Indians. I always wondered where they hang out and what they do on weekends since I seldom see them when I go out. In Singapore, they are easily spotted and it somewhat makes me happy.


Most of the food I ate was more bland than Malaysia's (which I guess is good if you're trying to be healthy). The variety of food in the food courts are quite a lot and I enjoyed their China dumplings. I would say that there are more stalls in Malaysian food courts but the menu tend to repeat, while they are lesser stalls but different kinds of food in Singaporean food courts.

On the flip side, I like their wan tan mee better! It's clear and sweet and tasted a little like the wan tan mee near my Grandmother's house, which I like to go to for breakfast. Usually I don't like eating wan tan mee here but I guess my mind is changed now. I'm looking forward to visiting Singapore again and try more food!!


There is more light pollution in Singapore than Malaysia, mainly because they are small and buildings are concentrated. The difference was more contrasting when viewed through an airplane at night. Instantly I noticed many patches of darkness in Malaysia (plantations or forests) and I didn't even noticed we were almost landing because the highway street lights were dim. Despite there being a lot of tall buildings in Singapore, it was cooler, more windy, and less humid than back home. Four days of bliss hahaha. Then I'm back to the oven.


I see old people and I think of KL. I don't know, it always makes me a little sad to see them out by themselves. I guess I shouldn't feel like that as it meant that they are capable enough to perform duties by themselves and that our infrastructure is allowing them some ease of access. But then I remembered that one time in KL, an old lady about 90 years old requested for our help with the ATM as she couldn't read the words on the screen, and I feel sad again.

If I have the mood, I will write about my short trip! I had so much fun meeting up with friends and family and basically not having to worry about work.

It has been sitting on the back of my mind for a long time, the thought about how rusty my 3D skills are since I haven't been utilizing them in months. In a desperate attempt to salvage and preserve whatever skills and muscle memory I have left, I came up with a 1 hour challenge. This exercise was a way for me to stay alert and focus on details instead of straying off exploring other parts. So after running through some ideas on what to do, I set down some simple ground rules:

1. I can only model
2. shade
3. and light

Armed with the mindset that it isn't perfection but progress I'm looking for (which is honestly a difficult pill to swallow since I consider myself a perfectionist). Right from the start I lowered my expectation to not disappoint myself lmao. That's how rusty I feel my skills are now. Since I couldn't rely much on my technical skills, I figured I would have to come up with interesting things to model, something to keep me going. And so after some deliberation, I decided to create a

I set a timer for 1 hour and rushed into modeling. Keep in mind that I dived right into it without recapping and only with brief research into the basic elements of a macaron and a burger. For God's sake, it has been more than a year since I used Redshift! I decided to use it just because I have it on my computer and it has a significantly fast render time.

Fortunately I still remember most of the shortcuts and where to find certain functions, largely based on muscle memory. I even did some simple nCloth simulation for my cheese and BBQ sauce. The one hour passed pretty quickly and I realized I didn't have time to shade or light.

Why was I so ambitious???

I laughed a little at myself and promised to do better and better. A step forward today will go a long way.

Without further ado, I present my Macaron Burger.


My Macaron Burger in all its glory - penetrations, awkward shapes and all!!

I have been home alone for too long that I'm starting to lose track of time fml. I can probably only keep up with Saturday and Sunday as I have aerial silk class on Saturday, but otherwise it's a mess in my head, especially recently. Am I turning bonkers from the lack of human interaction and productivity? Sure I am working pretty well on my freelance but other than that, I haven't been out much. I keep a habit tracker and came to realized that last month was by far one of the worst month I had in terms of sleeping early, going out/socializing/seeing the outer world, me-time, and family time.

Everyone at home is so busy that we are like housemates rather than family and it is pissing me off. I am trying hard to turn this around but sometimes frustration gets to me. Why is it so hard to focus on communication?

I sincerely cannot wait to start a full time job after I'm finished with my freelance jobs. My days consist of praying, hoping, wishing that I get to join my targeted companies after I sent those job applications. I tried my best to improve my skills and make a good showreel, so I'm hoping it will pay off.

Please, please, please.

It's time for me to stop sounding mopey and do something about the way I have been feeling. As the title stated, it has been a month since I am out of university and I'm just starting to feel good again. For the past month, my mood had been mostly down and it was difficult for me to get up from my bed to do anything, even the activities I know I enjoy. I laid on my bed a lot, my phone in hand, changing positions ever so often because it feels uncomfortable, yet I couldn't make myself get up.

I knew what I had to do, what I had planned, yet I felt aimless because it takes actual effort to do things, like learning Japanese or a dance. I felt that it took too much effort. Then I had an epiphany - could I possibly be going through post-grad depression? Is there such a thing? Basically I was having trouble adjusting to a new lifestyle, an entirely new life altogether. I had no classes to attend, no assignments to challenge me, no club activities to fill my time with, no friends that are nearby to talk to; it was so strange. That had been my life for 4 years and now it's just nothing. Abruptly halted.

I feel like a boat without an aim and I begin to think to myself maybe I should start rowing. Anywhere. See where it takes me. I know that in order to break out from my bubble, I need some sort of order, an activity I can't get out off that easily and make excuses for.

So I decided - I am going to join an aerial silk class.

It has been on my mind for more than half a year but I haven't gotten around to starting it because I was occupied with internship and university.

Now would be perfect.

Another thing that I waited for years to do is volunteering. We did some volunteering and community work back in National Service and I loved it. And I promised myself, I must give it a try again, which was why I took a Personal Social Responsibility class during my university time. Again, I enjoyed it.

I know I want to do it again. All it takes is for me to decide and make a move.

So I'm happy to announce that this week, I will be attending a youth volunteerism seminar and my first aerial silk trial class that I'm joining with Sis. 

It took me courage to sign up for the seminar ok. I am a shy person and more often than not, I have social anxiety, so I didn't want to go alone. But after briefly talking about it to Mom, I decided that if I am going to volunteer, I should do so with a sincere heart. That would be the noble and right thing to do. And I think, the shyer you are, the more so you should push yourself to get out there.

Your head voice do sound louder when you're alone and lonely.

Anyways I am feeling so much better now and will try to keep afloat by finding some hobbies to stick to. Bullet journaling is on my mind and I can't wait to start. First, I need a dotted page journal. I wished for it on Giggle Garage's X-Mas Party wishlist, which I am attending despite not being an employee haha (GG was my internship company, fyi). My colleague Joey invited me to join and since Sis's company (Poggo Animation) is under them, they are all going too. I'm already looking forward to seeing my ex-colleagues again. Ben actually asked me to come back soon but I told him that I want to spend some time achieving personal goals and will go back to GG if I have exhausted all means of finding a job somewhere else.

One thing I am really working on is trying to be less dependent on my boyfriend. Just to clarify, I am not a dependent, clingy person, but now and then I do like to spend more time together or just video call him so I can see his face. Especially since I am so free now. But to him video calling without anything much to say aside from having each other's company through the internet, is boring. Obviously that's not how I feel, if you can tell. I value our time together even if we're not meeting up physically.

The first time I asked him if it is boring for him, he said yes and so I tried to not call him. But somewhere along the way I forgot about it and got excited to call him again, and again I asked the same question. He reminded me about the first time when I asked him and said that later I didn't call him that much because of what he answered and then the answer came rushing back to me. Hesitantly I asked if he still feels the same. Yes.

With a heavy heart I said my phone battery was low (which it was) and quickly ended the call. I don't hate him and I respect that he has his own opinions, but I can't help feeling down about it. This time I'm not gonna cry. I want to process the event rationally and come to a decision on my part. That's how I decided that I need to focus more on myself on top of spending all the time by myself. He's more individualistic nowadays and I'm trying to give him the space he wants. He is still himself when we see each other, so I know our relationship is not going down. It's just this part that I have to work on.

But sometimes I think to myself - is it so bad to want your company, to hear your voice just a little bit?

We have talked to each other about it once in a while and have come to a conclusion that we just have different preferences. Sigh. Relationships will always be a work in progress.

I am working more on self care. I learnt Jennie's Solo dance yesterday and posted a video of it on my Instagram dance account (@ion_x_ion) because I am getting tired of me not being productive and whining about every little thing. Baby steps.

Also I haven't finish making Babe's birthday present but I am definitely progressing albeit slowly. It's a labour of love ok haha. I am cross-stitching so you can imagine how much time it takes up.

Taking care of my plants, working on my FYP bits and pieces, building my portfolio, meeting up with friends occasionally, watching movies with Babe, dancing sometimes, resisting my phone... That's about what I do mostly these days.

You know you're no longer a small girl when you have to plan everything for your family trip.

I hoped that it could be a chill kind of trip so I didn't plan to go anywhere exciting. I just wanted to visit my relatives and my friend Ken, who works in Melaka now. Most of all, I just wanted to spend time with my family as we don't see each other that much anymore.

Also, I used Huji Cam a lot! I think it makes everything looks magical~

  MAM MAM aka FOOD  

 

Because I haven't been in Melaka for years, I seeked Ken's recommendation on anywhere good to indulge in food or drinks. Although I am not much of a foodie, strangely enough on this trip I just wanted to eat eat eat and not buy anything else. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Malacca Avocado Choc
PT245, Jalan Limbongan, 
Kampung Limbongan, 
75200 Klebang, Melaka
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


According to the internet, on weekends this place will be packed and have long queues, so it's better if you can avoid going then. Maybe come in the morning if you're up for it! We dropped by on a Friday afternoon so all is good.
 


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


A few years ago, Eli brought us here for the first time. At that time the line was like a snake and we just parked across the road or something. This time there were only 2 other customers and we got our drink pretty quickly. The takeaway and dine-in areas are separate - you'll see a house with a big signboard if you turn into the neighbourhood road where you can dine in. The takeaway stand is just beside the main road so the area gets congested easily.


It was compact, cluttered, quirky, homely, dim, colourful, retro... Ahh everything I ever wanted for myself.

It is a hot spot for students to hang out, but since it was a Saturday I figured they all went back home. MMU students can get discounts here, if I'm not mistaken.


I love Yokai Watch characters because not only are they adorable but they remind me of my younger Japanese host sister who is a fan of Yokai Watch. The shop has little trinkets, cultural decorations, and old objects lying around - it feels like a treasure trove.


There is a covered area and an open air area, both packed with people. We waited for a table to finish before we took their table. I often feel that it is awkward to stand nearby a group of people who seem to be finishing up because it's like you're halau-ing (chasing away) them. But this is life and we need food.

In case any foreigners are thinking to visit Malaysia, yes, it is totally normal in a packed foodcourt or casual restaurant to wait beside or nearby a table for them to finish so you can take their place. And don't be alarmed when people do the same. Just don't do it in any other restaurants that are more orderly and have a person manning the entrance.


Anybody here loves raw cucumbers and onions as much as I do? For some reason they gave yellow onions. Give me back my red ones. T^T The satay was good. I love satay.


For the price of RM8 for oyster egg, I am extremely disappointed. The oyster was even smaller than a lala (clam)... We couldn't even distinguish the oyster from the egg when we first saw the plate.

What a scam.


- - - - - - - - - - - -
Jonker Street
- - - - - - - - - - - -





2 years ago they didn't have these canopies. They looked absolutely adorable~ Look at the pastel tones~ It's filled with mainly food stalls and some stalls selling miscellaneous stuff (like phone cases and portable fan).


Gua sha is so painful, you guys. I hope I never have to do it.





This room filled with Buddha was actually a no-photography zone, which I realized only after I took the photo. I thought it was mesmerizing and I suddenly had the urge to buy a Buddha head. Strange.

Afterwards we went for chicken rice ball dinner nearby because we wanted to use the toilet hahaha. Don't you think the interior concept kind of looks like Yu-Baba's room in Spirited Away??





Beside the stage, there sat a group of uncles and a basket of CDs presumably filled with a library of songs. Oh, how far we've come. I imagined that must be how karaoke worked.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Fook Choon Trading

Oh, you know I would visit a nursery if I could!

I actually found this place through a plant group I am in. What a coincidence I'm dropping by Melaka too, so yay!



I think one of my favourite sight is definitely seeing rows and rows of succulents. The colours, the shapes, the texture, the height... it's my heaven.

I saw a Lilacina, which is on my wishlist... But since I didn't have anything else that I wanted, I let it go. I believe if it's meant to be, I will cross path with a Lilacina again! In my experience, it isn't easy to find them.

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Klebang Beach
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

The first time I came, I was at the white sandy part of the beach. Both equally tranquil.

We couldn't find the sand dunes area though... If anyone knows how to get there, let me know. XD

  MOREEE  

This bag can really hold a lot of items; it's like a little luggage bag. I'm happy because I could even bring my water bottle around!


Couldn't swim because I had my period. T^T I badly wanted to play at the pool because not only is it huge AF but it has a kiddy pool THAT IS LIKE A PLAYGROUND WITH WATER SPRAYING EVERYWHERE. It's like a small theme park!


We visited our relative again on the final day because I wanted to see my baby cousin!!

Whenever I visit this building, I get memories from childhood. One that I will never forget is how one of our cousins fell while playing and we all tried to comfort him while huddling on the stairs, trying not to let the adults find out. Another one would be of a little 3-year-old boy whom my Grandauntie took care of. He passed away on his family trip and my last memory of him was him being angry at me for not letting him play Angry Bird on my phone. He would have been about 10 now.


Our Granduncle told us of how he got possessed while jogging behind his house, beside this body of water right here. Not something I would like to hear. Not something I will forget very soon, if ever.