Sunday, 20 December 2015
Been reading HONY posts to start my day and I feel so much better. There's so much to laugh at and also to empathize. Nowadays I have been doing a lot of opening up. I'm listening to TED Talks and saving some to my Watch Later because time is a limiting factor yo. And also digging up old HONY posts and scrolling through Berlin Artparasite's page. Somehow it makes life easier to deal with. I wonder why I never do it earlier. But then again I never had any reason to, so I guess this situation made me explore new things.
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Hello I'm back again and I came across a page - Steve Maraboli - where he have tons of quotes. Taking a little break from assignments now before lunch. As always, I have been thinking. Thinking if I was wrong for always reaching out to you and just so you know, I'm gonna stop it now. If you are meant to care for me, you will find me. A little harsh, but yeah. I had enough of my shit.
Sometimes I really don't know if I should hang on or just let go to cut myself and you some slack. I love you enough to want to hang on but letting go is also an act of love in itself, isn't it?
Quotes avalanche ahead.
I understand this now. The pain of having half of what is promised really does suck. And the pain of being there halfway. Barely making it.
Sometimes you have to remember not to let anyone drown you out. Be kind even if you are not being treated kindly. I know it's not easy, but practice.
Yes, more important than realizing any other poisons. You gotta have control over yourself before dealing with other poisons.
I was waiting for the closure. But seems like I'm not gonna get one. Some doors are meant to remain burnt.
I understand this more than anything now. It does burn, but what can you do right.
I was waiting for this. =.= Yeah, and I have already suspected it's the behaviour.
Words for myself. Stop trying to run after people. Stop trying to prove your worth to someone that does not see it.
And perhaps the most important one:
I need to learn to stop touching it.
This is pretty random but I had a sudden flashback of a dream I had years ago probably when I was about 14. In that dream I was composing poems. And they were for the person that hurt me and I hated that person but didn't know who it was. If it was a premonition, then I would say that it wasn't hate, it was disappointment. Perhaps I was too young to know any better.
