Monday, 16 March 2015
I waited for more than three hours today just to see my doctor in the hospital. /.\ Finished reading The Child Bride while waiting so I can start on Divergent now. It was because the doctor was in a meeting in the morning that led her to be two hours late (well, normally I have to wait a long time too). Nothing much to expect for blood test result; still the same situation, not bad, not good, hmmm. She told me I could go for radio iodine treatment but we chose to wait (because honestly I am afraid the radioactivity will stay in my braces!) so I have to continue meds for now until whenever. She said I probably have to take it for life if I don't want an alternative treatment.
It was OK though because mine wasn't an urgent case; I'm just a teeny bit hyperthyroid now but she said as a doctor, she wants to make sure it is euthyroid. I had taken meds since 2012 that it feels like a normal, daily routine for me to just swallow the small pill(s) after breakfast. Like it's no biggie. I had to increase my dose though (not too much). It's funny (but comforting) how the more you see the doctor, the more 'it's ok' you feel. It's as if things were expected not to be truly perfect and you kinda will accept that in the long run. "Let me honestly tell you, you will never be cured." That's what my doctor told me. But inside, I don't feel anything. It feels like I had already heard what I should hear, know what I should know. I researched a lot ever since 2012 so there really isn't a lot that I don't know of or can surprise me.
I never used to tell my friends about it until NS when I had to confide in a few friends in case anything happened, but I did not go into detail. The first time I really told anyone about it was to Joshua. I felt insecure even then but he was a good friend. Later on when I was in university, it took me some thinking to finally be able to confide in Edmund because he kind of is going through something like this so I wanted him to know there is someone who can relate. The last one I ever told was Giang. What I gained from this was the realization that I could feel better if I have someone to talk to about. I don't think about it that much anymore as I did initially so I would say I had came a long way. :) It wasn't easy obviously (because of the shock too) but then I didn't want to be so vulnerable anymore and tried my best to be above it.
This is a confession I never admitted in public but now I feel OK writing about it. Just not in details.
At night, we met up with Sherron and had a blast of a time! We asked her only because we knew that if we have to ask the other two along, we won't get as much to say. Even during secondary school times, Sherron was the one with the most similar wavelength to us, laughing at lame/stupid/disgusting/inappropriate stuff. I was glad we met up because we got to chat a lot within that one hour and 30 minutes we were there. Hope to talk to her more soon as she is very, very busy with Form 6. We hardly hear from her as well. :(
We were breathless with laughter at the mamak. It has been so long since I laughed this much. \^v^/
