Jump!★

Started my first job ever this Thurs in a nursery/kindie/daycare n if i have to write a book, it would be titled "The Hidden Side of Childcare Centres". I had first-hand experiences n was slightly stressed out. OTZ

I wouldn't say that its horrible but it wasn't heaven either. Its just kinda wreckish with so many different-personality kids n mean adults. ;_; I found myself wanting to cry after work.

But i still love kids n while working, i felt sad for the kids cuz they are what i call 'indirectly abused'. Seeing as the majority of teachers are Chinese, I can understand why. Omg, they are so... asian. I wasn't brought up in a particularly asian or strict way so it came as a shock. They actually beat the children n shout at them except when the principal's there or when its almost time to go home.

Ehh... You think cctv cannot capture one ah...

And it doesn't help that i am the only one nice on the kids (though i do shout at them when they misbehave) n always got reprimanded. T^T I never thought working can be this exhausting...

I took care of kids aged 16 months to 2 years so everyone is wearing diapers and I am having 6 kids under my care. The teachers threw so much for me to do. ;_; They act like as if i magically know what to do n where all the stuff is. Hello, I just graduated n know nothing about everything OK?

We worked today too (yes, on a Saturday when i so obviously stated that i only want to work on weekdays) n i went out to IOI with sis n another young teacher to get supplies. N we bitched about the older teachers. Glad to know i'm not alone.

But when the older teachers reprimand me, I'm not particularly sorry if i know i'm not wrong while the other girl with me (Mickey) just kept quiet n nod. I am not backing down OK!! Guess this is what makes me different - a hard face and righteous attitude. I cannot stand ppl accusing me of something i never did!! N i'm not afraid to speak up cuz if they shoot back at me, I'll do the same back. Bad working attitude?? ~^.^~
But sometimes, some things make it better. Like how kids do stuff unexpectedly - it makes my heart melt. But i'm so exhausted that i can't feel anything most of the time.

What makes working harder is the obvious favourism. OTZ Some kids became attached to me cuz obviously!! I'm the only one that make funny faces n converse normally with them. I guess its cuz i'm like a kid somehow... This particular situation makes it hard for the teachers to work with some of the kids (n me...) cuz they only listen to me n do not cry when they see me.

Take Ethan for example; he was a new kid n was always crying cuz he's nervous. He is slightly older, or at least looks, than everyone else so the teachers were wondering why he isn't in the upper grade. He is VERY attached to me cuz i played with him n understand him n i know that he is not careless like the others even though the teachers assumed him to be. I was asked not to let him hold the art book i was supposed to read cuz i gave it to him to look. He was entranced with the colours n i was like "Wah! So many colours!" then he became so happy and repeated after me. I turned to a page with finished artworks n asked him which one he liked n he pointed to the airplane n shouted "Airplane!"

"Do you like airplanes?" I asked n he nodded happily. After that we gazed out the windows n discussed how the birds flew away from the trees. He is so lovely, just a bit of an easy cryer, n my social partner cuz he's the only one that can speak. He's always asking "Where is Papa?" in which i'll answer "Papa is working. He will come for you." n this repeats for an infinite number of times.

Then yesterday it was raining, so we talked about the rain. Classes then began n while singing, he was asking about his dad again n i decided to let him be n continued singing. He panicked n cried n the other teachers have to move him to the other table but he was crying even harder n kept pointing to me cuz he wanna sit with me. I avoided eye contact cuz i dun wanna make him sadder n the teacher had to force him down n stop his cries. It was so sad, but i couldn't do anything...

After that, everyone played n waited for their mummies n daddies. When there were just a handful of kids left, we seated them all together n i still remembered his happy face n he kept coming to me. I had to always say "Ethan, sit there." n point to his chair n he would happily go back.

I just love his face so much - big eyes, luscious lips n big teeth. N he is so freaking gentlemanly n well-behaved!! He helps me prevent other kids from playing with the wet table n i secretly let him help me wipe the table when the teachers are not looking. So sweet~!! <3

I shall slowly introduce the kids, but for now i'll just talk about Ethan. But ppl call him Aiden. I feel so frustrated!! I am the only one calling "Ethan Ethan!!" while they are like "Aiden!!"

OK. Then while i was playing with this very emo toddler (who at last laughed a lot, yay!!) n suddenly turned around n my arm knocked into Ethan standing smilling at me n i was like "Woah!!" He could have fell. OTZ Luckily it was not his face!!

"Yes Ethan? Go sit." n he obediently sat n still smiled at me. He kept pushing his hankie to me n i fold it onto the back of his shirt but he pulled it out n gave it to me again. I don't know what to do so i just kept it - he smiled n sat down quietly for the rest of the time.

Then his Papa finally came.

"Aiden! Daddy is here!" the teacher shouted n i was like "Aah Papa is here!!" He then went to retrieve his bag n then the teacher ask him to walk faster n i looked at him to find that he was already looking at me.

And he smiled, stopping in his tracks. I grinned back and waved vigorously to him before i looked away n he finally left.

I think i saw his father. I think? He looks well-groomed n so calm n also calmly smiling at his son. It was such a contrast from the others. LOL I want to see everyone's parents but Irene insists that she must be the one so i normally sit far away n try to see the parents with my horrible eyesight. OTZ

Btw i think i saw my Maths teacher. ._. I think she saw me too.

There was also a time when Ethan asked about his Papa again n i told him that after he sleep, Papa will come. "I cannot sleep..." he said. Which is true cuz its hard for him to fall asleep n when he did, he wakes up early. N that was why i attempted to chat with him yesterday n thus a bond was formed. :)

But i am still very inexperienced n only know how to play with kids. <.< No matter what, I will still do what i feel is right n do things in my style!!

Please please please don't transfer Ethan to the 3y.o. class!! >.<

So everything that i will experience n will write down will all be completely new to me. I hope you will enjoy exploring and learning alongside me. ^.^

P.s. Coline asked if we wanted to extend to a year. ... Let's see if i'm nuts before March n then i'll make a decision. Ahh n also, please appreciate studying!! I am looking forward to when i will be entering college!! :D